This is kind of a follow up post to my Commas and Dialogue post back in September 2014, although now I want to focus less on punctuation and more on diction, or word choice. We've all had the seventh grade English teacher who hands out a list of verbs we should use instead of go, walk, eat, etc. Maybe this is an editor thing, but I get a real thrill when I find just the right word to describe the situation: I didn't just run through the rainy woods, I slogged through them. Yes, I did eat on Thanksgiving, but how much more descriptive (and accurate, unfortunately) if I use the word "gorged."
The idea behind careful diction is not to sound intelligent or to change up what words you use, but rather to communicate what is happening to the reader more precisely. Interestingly, in dialogue, it may be better to not use a dialogue tag ("said so-and-so"), and when one is needed, use said or asked 90% of the time. But how, you may ask, can you tell the reader that your character is distraught or scared or ecstatic? And won't readers get tired of said, asked, and replied? Two words: body language.
“Are you serious?” The first man huffed impatiently.
No dialogue tag, but the reader clearly knows the first man said this, and he isn't happy. Notice the contrast with the next sentence.
“Are you serious?” Ms. Williams bent down and examined Nora's small, determined face.
Same dialogue, totally different feel. Now there is a concerned teacher trying to gauge a child's attitude.
In certain situations, it may be useful to use other dialogue verbs to communicate a scene, like shouted or muttered. But instead of right-clicking "said" and seeing what synonyms come up, consider leaving it, or taking out the dialogue tag altogether and adding in something else that the character who is speaking is doing, like raising his eyebrows or pouting or grinning.
And with that, she smiled at her reflection in the computer screen. "Job well done." She clicked the publish button and shared her post with her eight followers.
